Fail…

So I had an appointment with the local PTSD support people on Thursday. I spent an HOUR talking about rape and how I feel about myself, basically laid myselfcompletely and utterly open, I’ve spent the last 2 days in a depressive state due to it, to be told at the end of the session ‘I’m not sure we can help you’. This was after the speech about how my case would go to the rest of the team, how the team is made up of a multitude of professions yadda yadda yadda, and at the very least they would be in contact with my cpn about stuff and they’d like to read my notes to get to know me more and so on and so forth. But. She’s not sure they can help me. My cpn had put a lot of faith in to this appointment and them ‘taking me on’ telling me that it’ll be hard but her place will be to support me through my work with them. Well it looks like the work with them isn’t going to happen so I have no idea what the role of  my cpn is now!! When I last saw her she said she was going to refer me to occupational therapy, but after the last referral I’m not holding out any hope of getting any help.

So my life right now feels like a massive fail. No one to support me and yet I’m still struggling the same as always. I guess i should blog here more, it might help me deal with the way I’m feeling, work through therape/sexual assault workbook I have, look in to CBT/DBT workbooks that I can do alone. Anything to get well, because I’m falling…